I remember coming to class the next day after the game. I was still smarting from the embarrassment. And like true buddies, they would not let me live it down. Damn.
So what to do? Now I could have just left it at that. After all, I was at a school that prided itself on academic achievement. It would be ok to let things be. Let's hit the books! Forget about hitting the hardcourt. Let's think about Physics and Chemisty and not lay-ups and boxing out. Yes, forget about the basketball.
Except, I couldn't. I knew I was bad at it. I was determined to learn the game. So, how else but to keep on playing it. Not that it would be difficult. You see, basketball is like breathing in the Philippines. It was part of life. We played at every opportunity. Every politician would even donate a basketball court, just in time for the election. I guess it was just their good will and nothing to do with trying to suck up to people for votes. But I digress.
So play I did. After school. During lunch break. With glasses on. Half-blind without them. In the rain. In the hot sun. I twisted my ankle to the point I couldn't feel it at times. I got my dad to set up a ring at home. I would practise my lay-up over and over again. I kept dribbling until my fingers hurt. I played until dark.
And I still sucked.
Nothing seemed to work. I still didn't seem to improve. I had the confidence level of a falling brick. So what now?
By this time, it was my sophomore year in high school. The school games were coming up. My batch decided to start putting a team together. Somehow, regardless of how bad I was, the guys convinced me to join. I knew I wasn't going to get the first team, but I was happy and nervous as well. We kind of figured my role. Defence. Rebound. Don't even think about shooting.
I came on as relief. We were demolished by the opposition, but I didn't embarrass myself. A couple of rebounds. No turnovers. Great going! We still lost, so not a real victory. But hey, we had one heck of a losing streak anyway, so what was going to change?
But leaving the game, it dawned on me that I hadn't done badly. So I played about five minutes during the game. I played at least!
We came into our junior year. Basketball wasn't on out top priorities that year, but we still played every day after school. It became almost ritual. School. Basketball. Crash at a friends house. Make up some dumb excuse for coming home late. Stay up till 2 am studying. And repeat.
We went into the school games and this time, I was back up center/ forward. I pretty much came on for my best friend Paul. Which meant I was going to get a lot of stick for replacing him on the court. By this time, we knew how to play with each other. We knew our strengths and weaknesses. I played the distraction. I knew how to look threatening, by just moving constantly. Faking them out. Grabbing each rebound like crazy. Blocking shots. And we won. OK, we did play against the freshmen regular class, but we did win!
Last year of high school. Our last chance to leave a bit of a legacy. This time it was different. I was starting power forward. Suddenly, I wasn't afraid anymore. We played more and more as a team. I found my niche. It was like breathing. We actually began to compete. I scored my first points. I averaged double figures in rebounds. I blocked shots. Basketball was suddenly my game.
We came in third place that year. I started that game and played one my best defensive games ever. I did foul out of the game. But we took our nerd filled team further than any previous. It was a good feeling.
We graduated and went to college. We didn't get to play as often. Suddenly I couldn't get away with my height. I was too short to play forward. My skills were too poor to play point. I ended up playing a back up role in any team I played. I finally learnt to shoot. It became my way, not shooting from the hip. I learned to shoot overhead, ala Larry Bird. An European way. Fitting, I suppose.
I finally beat Paul in a one and one match. I never beat him before. Perhaps he had slowed down but I felt good. He joked that I should have learnt to shoot that well in high school. I smiled back at him with quiet contentment.
It has been years since I played regularly. I tried on my last visit home and nearly keeled over from exhaustion. I was so out of shape. It was so bad that one of the opposition was asking if I was ok. I quickly subbed myself out of the game. I looked out to the court as I watched the others play. It was like yesterday again. But I didn't feel as bad. Perhaps one day I will be able to shoot as well as before. Perhaps one day I will be able to play with pride.
But not yet.
Perhaps it's time to hit the court again.
