Disney films were a staple of my childhood. In fact early, our family had a cinema rule in place, which meant we mostly watched if it was a James Bond film (we are all big fans of the franchise) or if it was a Disney film. The latter shouldn't be a real surprise as almost every generation has their favourite Disney movie. But I won’t bore you about present movie favourites as that will be a discussion for another time.
One of my earliest film memories was watching the classic Bambi. There is no other film I know that can potentially scare and scar a child upon first viewing as it taps into one of the most fundamental fears any child can have. If you have watched it, you know the scene. Its winter and Bambi and his mother are walking in the snow covered forest. The mother stops, senses the danger and commands Bambi to run. We see the hero scampering away. We hear the mother’s desperate cries to flee. The images become ever frantic, the music matching the pace. And then…
BANG!
A gun shot.
Bambi finally stops, looks back and calls for his mother. She is never found. Instead he meets the great stag who hauntingly tells him that his mother cannot be with him anymore.
All fades to black.
And then it’s spring and over-excitable birds are singing. The story continues
As a child, I often forgot the movie kept going. At that point I was bawling my eyes out and crying uncontrollably. That was just devastating to me as a child. There have always been sad moments in movies that upset me event then, but that just scared me like nothing else.
I recently revisited this feeling when I was babysitting my nephew. He woke up from his sleep and clambered out of bed. I carried him back to bed, trying my best to console him, but even as his crying eased into soft whimpering, he still called for his mommy. I stayed with him, waiting in the dark as he calmed down and slowly fell into a restful sleep.
Even then, it came to mind that so many years ago, that was me. I was the crying child looking for my mother.
And sometimes, even when I was no longer the infant, I still needed my mother when I found myself surrounded by the darkness.
This part of the story, my mother knows. I once stood at the brink of making a very poor and selfish choice. But even as I closed my eyes what broke me out of that spell was the voice of my mama calling out to me.
Nothing dramatic.
In fact, I think she was scolding me for letting my mind wander.
No matter how old I get, part of me will always cry out for my mama when I am lost.
Often, I forget to tell her that and for such I apologise.
Thank you Ma for being the voice in the dark that helps me my find peace again.
That and for always reminding me that there will always be a spring to look forward to.
Even if we have to put up with the over-excitable singing birds.
Just as my Father would often joke, good-humouredly, " That's your Mother!"
I wouldn't have it any other way.
Happy Birthday to my very wonderful Mama.
All the love from a very blessed and lucky son.
